The Breath That Keeps Us Alive

It was the third year in a row that he broke the promise of talking to her on valentine's day. A tear rolled down her cheek. In fact, it had been three years since she heard his voice.

She had met him on a train 10 years back. She was head over heels in love with him the minute she set his eyes on him. The dignified way in which he sat, the way his body was perfectly carved, and the warm smile he had on his face while trying to indulge in a conversation with a kid next to him were breathtaking. The way he was dressed was what stole her heart.

The 3 days of the train journey was the best days of her life. By the end of it, she had decided this was it. She found her soulmate. When they got down at the station, with her heart in her hands, she gathered all her courage and went straight to him. He was surprised and shot her a confused smile. There, she fell for him again! 

"I am in love with you", she said

"But..how...I mean...I am seeing you for the first time"

"I know. I want to be your wife"

"You don't even know me!"

"I know what I need to know the most. Will you marry me?"

He was at a loss for words. He was quiet for a few seconds and she was certain he did not reciprocate her love. Every passing second felt like an eternity. Then he said,

"You won't take me the wrong way if I.."

She knew he wanted to deny politely and her heart sank.

"It's okay. I understand. Sorry for the trouble", she said and turned away from him with a heavy heart. Suddenly, she could feel someone pulling her arm. It was him! He pulled her close and looked deep into her eyes and said "Hear me out completely. You won't take me the wrong way if I could take you home with me right away? I have been noticing from the past 3 days how you have not taken your eyes off me. I could feel every ounce of your feeling towards me. It was just that I thought it's a passing cloud for you. I would love to make you mine!"

Before they knew it, they were married. It was their mutual decision that they did not want to have children. He was away at work most of the time and the times that he came home, they felt like they are meeting each other for the first time again. He was also away on most of her birthdays, anniversaries, and on valentine's day but he never missed calling her. Every time he would leave home for work, she would tell a silent prayer for him.

But it looked like the prayers did not reach God. 3 years back, on valentine's day, she was awaiting his call when she saw the dreaded news on TV. How she prayed he was not in that van with her heartbeats quickening! Then she saw his name flash across the screen. She did not remember anything after that.

She was crying inconsolably now. It was exactly 3 years since her husband, a soldier who safeguarded the nation, died in the terrible Pulwama Attack. They called him a "martyr". They called it a black day. They even held a candlelit march crying out for Justice. Justice??? Really??? Justice??? What justice can you give to a dead soldier's wife? Nobody will understand who really was. And she was right.

The way he was dressed was what stole her heart. He was in his army uniform. 

"I know what I need to know the most. Will you marry me?" she knew he was a soldier and that made her want him more.

For the outside world, he was seen and known as a "soldier". People seldom understand that there is a "human" inside that uniform. A human who does not regret even for a second regarding the path he chose. A human whose heart breaks into a million pieces every time he has to leave behind his family. A human who picks back up all those broken pieces and fights bravely day and night. A human who is A husband.  A friend. The world to her.

She looked outside the window and saw a young couple in love dressed in red. She remembered her husband who was wrapped in tricolor the last time she saw him. She closed her eyes and drifted off to the happy memories with him because that was all that was left. "I love you", she said aloud. "I love you, very very much"

Her life with him will have a special flavor that none of us would ever experience.

People do say "I love you", with their blood.

Let us remember those "humans" who laid down their lives on Feb 14th, 2019. One of the reasons that our flag flies is not because of the wind but because of the last breath of each soldier who died that day.

We remember you.  All we can say is a silent Thank You. We owe you everything.

Rest In Peace.